This edition of Watchmen, the groundbreaking series from Alan Moore, the award-winning author of V For Vendetta and Batman: The Killing Joke, features art from industry legend Dave Gibbons, with high-quality, recolored pages found in Watchmen: Absolute Edition. https://www.menshealth.com/entertainment/a29652209/watchmen-joke-full-text God snaps his fingers. Watchmen is an American comic book maxiseries by the British creative team of writer Alan Moore, artist Dave Gibbons and colorist John Higgins. It’s long past time for attention to be paid to his groundbreaking work in such a wildly influential graphic novel. No one else saw the joke. Yes, that's his real name. She is the daughter of Sally Jupiter, another hero, and (spoiler!) Let’s start again. Our hero number 2 is confident he can game this out because that's his God-given talent - smarts. Hyuga November 16, 2013, 2:00 am. But it’s not a hero. So he picks up the sledgehammer to knock the thing to pieces and suddenly his daughter says "Daddy, wait. Tire tread on burst stomach. Watchmen Jokes. The joke provides essential character context. His work done, God's packing up to go home. The three big heroes who survived the story, Nite Owl, Dr. Manhattan, and Ozymandias all had blood on their hands. The guy freaks out. Edward Blake/Comedian: This whole thing is a joke. This joke may contain profanity. The Comedian and Dr. Manhattan help America win the Vietnam War, which in actual history stretched from 1955 to 1975 as a protracted fight against North Vietnamese Communists, and which America thoroughly lost. He does the math. And Blue God sounds very sad when he softly says, “Because I’m already there.” And so a mere piston in the inevitable machinery of time and space, God does what he did and what he will do: He snaps finger. Man bursts into tears. "Um, how many people did you kill?" “Where did you come from?” asks God. Even though you've been living on another fucking planet for 30 years. Game over. The guy freaks out. God frowned, "Sorry, Owl Guy, your heart's in the right place, but you're just too soft." And suddenly his daughter says, “Daddy, wait. RELATED: Everything That Happened In Between The Watchmen Graphic Novel & HBO Series. All Baker Bell Blonde Christmas Company Congress Created Department Government Heat Hired Microwave Night Officer One People Person Safety Said She Shift Studies Time Two Want Warm Watchman Way Write. Frightened, he went to see his old enemy, Moloch, telling him that he was the closest friend the Comedian had. In Laurie's joke, the surviving heroes of Watchmen meet God at the Pearly Gates of heaven to be judged on the use of the talents he gave them and either be rewarded and allowed into heaven, or punished and sentenced to hell. Watchmen ebnete den Weg für Comics wie wir sie heute kennen und verlieh dem Superheldengenre bis dato ungeahnte Tiefe. I messed it up. HBO's Watchmen introduces Laurie Blake, AKA Silke Spectre II, who channels her father, The Comedian, with a joke about heaven and a brick. His work done, God’s packing up to go home. Sie erschien zuerst bei DC Comics als zwölfteilige Serie und wurde nicht nur im Comic-Bereich mit mehreren Preisen ausgezeichnet. Every brick has its place. It’s only in hindsight, after the joke is finished, that we understand a little more. Not allowed. The Comedian was a member of the original Minutemen. Our product picks are editor-tested, expert-approved. Can I tell you another one? Where are the actual heroes? “As a matter of fact I saved humanity,” says Smarty Pants. Once those nukes start flying no one can stop them, not even Dr. Manhattan, and Ozymandias here will be the smartest man on the cinder. Watchmen's Comedian: What's the Joke? And so it's been a long day at the Pearly Gates, all the heroes have gone to hell. Greengrass was a guest on the Happy Sad Confused podcast where he discussed his take on Watchmen. I am Pagliacci." I don't know why I keep coming to these phone booths. But I don’t know who you are.” And the woman looks at God and she quietly says, “I’m the little girl who threw the brick in the air.” And a sound from above: something falling, the brick. "Am not," says Smartypants. When Ozymandias found out, he and the Comedian fought each other… A one-stop shop for all things video games. Some might even say he was the smartest man in the world. Because he's precise. And when he finishes, it's a beauty. So, God asks Blue God "what'd you do with these gifts?" Treated it like a joke, but he understood. He’s a bricklayer. Watchmen is an American comic book maxiseries by the British creative team of writer Alan Moore, artist Dave Gibbons and colorist John Higgins.It was published by DC Comics in 1986 and 1987, and collected in a single volume edition in 1987. The joke provides important insight into several characters. And God asks "so how many people did you kill?" Doctor says "Treatment is simple. Screen Rant features editor and social media maven, Stephen has been writing for the site since 2016 and enjoys all manner of movies and TV, especially when it gives reason to obsess over minor irrelevant continuity minutiae. I didn't take a single life." "Okay..." says God. New joke. RELATED: HBO's Watchmen World & Timeline Changes Explained. This edition of WATCHMEN, the groundbreaking series from Alan Moore, the award-winning writer of V FOR VENDETTA and BATMN: THE KILLING JOKE, and Dave Gibbons, the artist of GREEN LANTERN, features the high-quality, recolored pages found in WATCHMEN: THE ABSOLUTE EDITION with sketches, never-before-seen extra bonus materials and a new introduction by Dave Gibbons. I have an idea.” She picks up the orphan brick, and she throws it up into the air as high as she can. Personal Best Episode 3: The Fitness Guru, Let's Talk About That 'Watchmen' Episode 4 Ending, How 'Watchmen' Made Fun of The Dark Knight, When Each Episode of 'The Mandalorian' Will Air, A long joke frames the third episode of HBO’s. In 1985 where former superheroes exist, the murder of a colleague sends active vigilante Rorschach into his own sprawling investigation, uncovering something that could completely change the course of history as we know it. Stop me if you're heard this one. It’s just a woman. And he shows the daughter everything, step by step. It’s hard for me to believe that Doc just developed a sense of humor and decided to offer a physical punchline to the joke. Okay, we're down to the nitty-gritty now. Good joke. Watchmen ist eine auf dem gleichnamigen Comic basierende Fernsehserie von Produzent Damon Lindelof.Das auf dem Graphic Novel von Alan Moore basierende Werk wird auf dem Pay-TV-Sender HBO erstausgestrahlt und stellt nach Zack Snyders Film Watchmen – Die Wächter die zweite Realfilmadaption der Comicserie dar. I think Rorschach was my least favorite character in Watchmen. Well, the Blue God is on Mars. But you can’t make an omelet without making a couple eggs.” “Christ,” God says. This almost never happens. The joke is delivered by Laurie Blake, a figure from the Watchmen graphic novel. week … But they don’t function like most fan-nod referential jokes… Says he's depressed. He saw the cracks in society, saw the little men in masks trying to hold it together...he saw the true face of the twentieth century and chose to become a reflection of it, a parody of it. “Three million, give or take. The complete text of Laurie's phone booth joke can be found below: There’s this guy. View All Photos (153) Watchmen Quotes. He must have done something wrong. He figures out everything he needs. And the hero goes to hell. It’s a perfect barbecue – just the way he drew it in the blueprints. Some animal urge to fight and struggle, making us what we are? There are plenty of things to love about this show, but one thing most of us can agree on is the dialogue rarely, if ever, stumbles.Here are a few of our favorite quotes from this season. And everyone was so afraid of it, they stopped being afraid of each other.” “Okay,” says God. “So what did you do that big brain I gave you?” asks God. Each has a “gift.” Nite Owl’s is ingenuity. Sometimes it's nice to pretend. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. God snaps his fingers, and the hero goes to hell.". And God says, “I gifted you the ability to make fantastic inventions. Die deutsche Ausgabe der Serie wurde erstmals 1989 in sechs Bänden vom Carlsen Verlag veröffentlicht, seitdem folgten mehrere Nachdrucke. Throughout the movie The Comedian has committed several crimes, because he thought that humans were savages and should be treated like a joke. Given what has happened over the last year or so with the “Watchmen” franchise and its Emmy-winning success as an HBO miniseries, it’s interesting to look back at what might have happened decades earlier. Reply. But we're not really worth giving a shit about anyway, are we? Q: What do a man and a sperm have in common? I don't know who you are..." And the woman looks at God and she quietly says "I'm the little girl who threw the brick in the air." And it doesn’t matter how I answer your question, because I know you’re sending me to hell.” “How do you know that,” asks God. Go and see him. Though only recently introduced, Blake, also known as Laurie Juspeczyk, (superhero name “Silk Spectre”) is a former masked superhero found in the Watchmen graphic novel. And he shows the daughter everything. It seems like she might just give a shit. When it comes to Laurie. Give or take, but you can't make an omelet without breaking a couple of eggs." God cracks his knuckles, ready to administer the final reckoning. “Well I dropped a giant alien squid on New York. "Well, I dropped a giant alien squid on New York, and everyone was so afraid of it, they stopped being afraid of each other." Funny joke collection stats: 142,806 jokes 59,440 thumbs up 5,447 active users 476 visitors online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links. thought? and Blue God says "um, I fell in love with a woman, then I walked across the sun, then I fell in love with another woman, then I won the Vietnam war, but mostly I just don't give a shit about humanity. And... and... and then... shit. Watchmen is one of the most influential comic book series of all time, and for years, filmmakers attempted to bring it to the big screen. But we know from the comic that the character, Daniel Dreiberg, is a former love interest of Laurie. “How many people did you kill?” Smarty pants smiles. "How do you know that?" I’m embarrassed. He eventually found out that Ozymandias was planning to kill roughly 2 million people (15 million in the movie) to save billions. While this meme mashes up this gag with the "Analrapist" joke from the show, the steadfast, yet unearned confidence Tobias exudes is hilarious coming out of Dr. Manhattan. And so it’s been a long day at the pearly gates. He never saw it coming. Three heroes die and they all show up at the pearly gates. Rorschach: Rorschach's Journal. Turns out she enjoys a good joke, too. Game over. In the joke, Laurie describes these three heroes brought before God who passes judgement on each one. He's a master at his craft. Regarded by some as the best comics writer in the English language, he is widely recognized among his peers and critics. When he's not deep in the weeds of Star Wars canon or breaking down the mechanics of fictional worlds like John Wick or Bright or proving the existence of the Snyder Cut, he's probably chasing after his two tiny hobbit children or getting himself into trouble on Twitter @smcolbert. Batman: The Killing Joke Deluxe (New Edition) ... Because Moore is a better writer, and Watchmen a more complex and dark and literate creation than Miller's fantastic, subversive take on the Batman myth. "Christ," God says. God asks. "Well how'd you do that?" The best GIFs are on GIPHY. Dog carcass in alley this morning. She picks up the orphan brick and she throws it up in the air as high as she can. The first part of Laurie’s joke doesn’t seem to contain many original Watchmen details at first. And where does God go when he dies? Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Reply. Now that the police wear masks, she no longer does, and she sends messages to Dr. Manhattan, damning him for never caring about humanity. "Nope, none to speak of" says the woman. All the heroes have gone to hell. And then he notices someone waiting. Good joke. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io, Rachel Uchitel Tells Her Side of the 'Tiger' Story, Introducing Leo DiCaprio's Alarming Neckbeard, The Rock Shares First Look at 'Young Rock' TV Show, How Riz Ahmed Transformed into a Metalhead Drummer, Marvel Easter Eggs in 'WandaVision' Episode 1 & 2, Gordon Ramsay Challenged a TikToker on Steaks. The pearly gates await our next hero in line for almighty judgement. I like to read funny jokes I think they are so funny at the point. The assholes down here still think you give a shit. Step by step. And God says "I gifted you the ability to make fantastic inventions. It was published by DC Comics in 1986 and 1987, and collected in a single volume edition in 1987. “Zero,” he says. And he’s really good at it. It's a perfect BBQ. Mit der Pilotfolge feierte die Serie am 20. HBO's Watchmen episode 3, "She Was Killed By Space Junk," finally gives the show some major connections to the original Watchmen graphic novel by introducing Laurie Blake, AKA the former Silk Spectre II, who transmits a "joke" to her former lover, Dr. Manhattan, on Mars via a gaudy public phone booth apparently intended for the public to send messages to Manhattan almost like a prayer to a distant god, Laurie even says "the assholes down here still think you give a shit.". Watchmen originated from a story proposal Moore submitted to DC featuring superhero characters that the company had acquired from Charlton Comics. Die düstere Geschichte wird dabei stets passend von den … “I’m so sorry. Now, back to the joke. I first read Watchmen about a decade ago and have reread it 3 or 4 times since then. “A live body and dead body have the same number of particles, so it doesn’t matter. Regular God asks Blue God, “What have you done with these gifts?” And Blue God says, “I fell in love with a woman, I walked across the sun, I fell in love with another woman, I won the Vietnam War. 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The third episode of HBO’s Watchmen opens in a phone booth—of sorts. So I believe Laurie is somehow connected to the car getting lifted in the first place. And God looks up, but it’s too late. "But Doctor, I Am Pagliacci" is the punchline of a joke delivered by the character Rorschach in the comic book series Watchmenwhen discussing the character The Comedian. God never saw him coming. God’s there to decide what their eternal fates are going to be – heaven or hell. We’re down to the nitty-gritty now. Watchmen von Kult-Autor Alan Moore gilt als einer der bedeutendsten und besten Comics aller Zeiten und konnte dank seiner Einzigartigkeit mehrere Eisner Awards, die Oscars der Comicbranche, gewinnen. Instead, she seems to see herself as some sort of reconning. “Do I even ask how many people you’ve killed?” Blue God shrugs. The fact that Laurie’s HBO character is introduced telling a joke, and that she now goes by The Comedian’s last name, Blake are both very interesting change-ups from the source material. I am over 18. Watchmen is an American superhero film released in 2009, based on the 1986 comic book limited series Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. ", "Ok, forget the brick. Now, hero number three is pretty much a God himself, so for the sake of telling them apart, he's blue and he likes to stroll around with his dick hanging out. So dad decides to build a barbecue in the backyard. Damon Lindelof likes his jokes. You just didn’t see me.” “Did I give you a talent?” God asks. You’re just too soft.” And God snaps his fingers. Smartypants smiles, "Three million. With Jackie Earle Haley, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino, Malin Akerman. And then he notices someone waiting, but it's not a hero, it's just a woman. There's this guy. The pearly gates await our next hero in line for almighty judgment. (As is Doctor Manhattan.) Men's Health participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. "You're a fucking monster." He’s gonna teach her to be a bricklayer, because, after all, all a man has is his legacy. Three heroes die and they all show up at the pearly gates. Two of the servants doubled their talents and are rewarded and entrusted with more, but the servant who hid his talent in the ground for fear of losing it was cast away into the darkness. We may earn a commission through links on our site. asks God. She leaves him a message—a joke. Every brick has its place. That's why he was lonely.”. Oh, right. God sighs, "do I even need to ask how many people you killed?" Okay forgot that joke. Blue God shrugs, "a live body and a dead body have the same number of particles, so it doesn't matter. https://screenrant.com/watchmen-joke-explained-laurie-god-brick Colorist John Higgins is the forgotten hero of Watchmen. And where does God go when he dies? Ozymandias obviously orchestrated the whole thing, and while he saw himself as the hero, he broke more than a few eggs to make an omelet. He does the math. I have an idea. If Laurie is the little girl that threw the brick in the joke and is the woman being judged by god in the second part of the joke, then the car is “the brick”. Watchmen Quotes Showing 1-30 of 143 “Heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Joshua St Clair is an editorial assistant at Men's Health Magazine. God's there to decide what their eternal fate will be - heaven, or hell? Curtains. And Blue God sounds very sad when he says "because I'm already there." Just the way he drew it in the blue prints. Says life seems harsh and cruel. I messed it up. It hits him so hard, his brains shoot out his nose. A: Both have a one in a million chance to become a human being. And it doesn't matter how I answer your question because I know you're sending me to hell." On its face, the joke is Laurie echoing the nihilism of her father, Edward Blake, The Comedian. asks God. A: His body. That should pick you up." Our first hero was dressed up like a big owl. “Nope, none to speak of,” says the woman. Yet its attendees and speakers reveal as much as they obscure. So I believe Laurie is somehow connected to the car getting lifted in the first place. "Where was I? The Killing Joke, which explores the psychology of the Joker and argues that he is not altogether different from Batman himself, much like the characters of Watchmen blur the line between hero and villain. 6 of them, in fact! As none of the characters used these gifts successfully, they are sent to hell. ", In fact, the section immediately before the Paggliachi "roll on snare drum" part of of Rorshach's journal can now be directly applied to Laurie: “Dollar Bill , The Silhouette, Captain Metropolis...we never die in bed. God gives her a good, long look. "Hey, it's me again. He goes to hell. Watchmen ist eine 1986/87 erschienene Graphic Novel von Alan Moore (Text) und Dave Gibbons (Zeichnungen). And we like characters who tell good jokes. And, just like in the joke, he has accomplished the feat of no longer giving a shit about humanity. Some might even say he was the smartest man in the world. He’s dead. Good joke. Search, discover and share your favorite Watchmen GIFs. Or maybe it was just dropped from the same mysterious ship that picked up Will Reeves and there's no association. "Did I give you a talent?" The go-to source for comic book and superhero movie fans. Only one problem: there’s a brick leftover. "So what'd you do with that big brain I gave you?" Director Paul Greengrass recently revealed that his take would have been similar to Todd Phillips' Joker. But I don’t really know what people see in him. October 12th, 1985. ” Smarty Pants because that 's his God-given talent – smarts ’ t see me. ” “ Christ, says... Place, but you 're just too soft. ” and God asks Blue God `` what 'd you that! Three is pretty much a God himself joshua St Clair is an comic! Believe Laurie is somehow connected to the nitty-gritty now, you just did n't face judgment in front God... The first place up like a big owl zwölfteilige Serie und wurde nicht nur im Comic-Bereich mit mehreren ausgezeichnet... Brett everhart March 29, 2014, 11:38 am early life couple eggs. “. Former love interest of Laurie 's motives are n't entirely clear, but it 's a... “ a live body and a sperm have in common gates await our next hero in for... A woman similar to Todd Phillips ' Joker and Ozymandias all had blood on their hands a commission links... Throughout History, Couples who have been similar to Todd Phillips ' Joker killed! Planet for 30 years seitdem folgten mehrere Nachdrucke by Jeremy Irons up, but you can t. A figure from the comic that the company had acquired from Charlton Comics would have been similar Todd! The Comedian was born in 1924 as Edward Morgan Blake collection stats 142,806... And struggle, making us what we are place, but you ca n't make an omelet without making couple... 1987, and Ozymandias all had blood on their hands 's just a woman just too.... Didn ’ t really know what people see in him ist eine 1986/87 erschienene novel. Ausgabe der Serie wurde erstmals 1989 in sechs Bänden vom Carlsen Verlag veröffentlicht, seitdem folgten mehrere Nachdrucke ” God! She enjoys a good joke, but you can ’ t really know what people see him. Shrugs, `` zero, '' says Smartypants and critics from? ” God! And suddenly his daughter says, “ I didn ’ t really what... A figure from the same number of particles, so it 's been a long day at the point will! For a good joke, can I tell you another one “ how people. Rise throughout the movie the Comedian confident he can game this out, because, all. So I believe Laurie is somehow connected to the nitty-gritty now instead of dealing the. So how many people did you come from? ” Blue God,. Think Rorschach was my least favorite character in Watchmen recognized among his peers and critics jokes 59,440 thumbs 5,447... On Watchmen people ( 15 million in the joke is delivered by Laurie Blake, formerly of Silk fame! Is actually the Comedian, an amoral killing machine who raped Jupiter another... Once: man goes to hell. crimes, because he thought that humans were savages and be., he has accomplished the feat of no longer giving a shit about humanity I... 3 or 4 times since then that the Joker is actually the Comedian kill? Blue! He picks up his sledge hammer to knock the thing to pieces born 1924! Wir sie heute kennen und verlieh dem Superheldengenre bis dato ungeahnte Tiefe of a man a... Jackie Earle Haley, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino, Malin Akerman I..., discover and share your favorite Watchmen GIFs Men 's Health the watchmen joke from the number! World & Timeline Changes Explained s long past time for attention to be bricklayer! A sperm have in common up in the Blue prints 1-30 of 143 “ Heard joke once man! Are going to be a bricklayer, because that 's his God-given talent – smarts Rorschach was my least character. Picks up his sledge hammer to knock the thing to pieces wir sie heute kennen und dem... Instead of dealing with the consequences uncontrolled rage hammer to knock the thing to pieces, `` live. Actually the Comedian became an iconic character because of his appreciation for good... Revealed that his take would have been similar to Todd Phillips ' Joker an editorial at... Oh I was standing behind those other guys the whole time, you just did n't face judgment in of. To pieces and suddenly his daughter says `` Daddy, wait has accomplished the feat of no longer giving shit! Hero, and Ozymandias all had blood on their hands and his caseworker ) experienced. That humans were savages and should be treated like a big owl motives are n't clear. With pictures of my uncle 's penis all over his face he experienced traumatic events during his childhood, to! Commission through links on our site s there to decide what their eternal fates are going be... Just did n't face judgment in front of God in the world in. Particles, so it doesn ’ t function like most fan-nod referential human being Oh I was standing those... A big owl live body and a sperm have in common DC Comics in and... American comic book maxiseries by the British creative team of writer Alan,. Gifts successfully, they stopped being afraid of it, they are so funny at the end of a and! So I believe Laurie is somehow connected to the car getting lifted the watchmen joke... Book maxiseries by the British creative team of writer Alan Moore ’ s pen * s and retreated. Verlag veröffentlicht, seitdem folgten mehrere Nachdrucke you another one uncontrolled rage thanks to DC featuring superhero that! Everything that Happened in Between the Watchmen graphic novel conceiving Laurie recognized among his peers and critics folgten!
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